Fetal Alcohol Disorder

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is caused when a woman drinks alcohol during pregnancy. It is a spectrum of disorders.

Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD), Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS), Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE), Partial Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (pFAS), Alcohol Related Neurological Disorder (ARND), Static Encephalopathy Alcohol Exposed (SEAE), and Alcohol Related Birth Defects (ARBD).  To go over each one would make this a very long blog post so check out the resources below.

The FASlink Fetal Alcohol Disorders Society  is a busy looking site but has a lot of information if you would like to learn more.

My absolute favourite resource and the one workshop where I learned the most was from Jeff Noble. If you ever get a chance to hear him speak, make sure you do!! You will not be disappointed! You can check out his website here. He has a Facebook page called Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Forever w/ Jeff Noble. Jeff also has a couple of great books. They are the first things I would recommend you read. Check there out here!

If you are a birth mother, one thing to always remember is that you did not intentionally hurt your baby. Jeff Noble makes it very clear in the beginning of his workshops that no mother ever intentionally hurts their child. Don’t be afraid to seek help and speak to him. He is non-judgemental and very understanding.

G got a diagnosis of ARND. She will always need an external brain (support people) to help her throughout life. It’s not easy. She is so very aware of her surroundings and how a “typical” 14 year old behaves. What they are able to do and what she struggles with. It’s heartbreaking. But as she gets older we are coming to a common understanding of what she can do on her own and what she needs help with. She is appreciating the help more often than she used to. She doesn’t like it, but when she thinks of how life would be without our help, it frightens her.

Fetal Alcohol Syndromes are extremely hard. Hard for the child/adult diagnosed and hard for the family and those assisting them. There are success stories for those who have the support. Don’t give up and don’t be afraid to ask for help! You don’t have to do this on your own.

Here are a few other resources you can check out.

FASDCHILDWELFARE.CA

FASDCHILDWELFARE.CA  Caregiver Curriculum has 6 Modules from the effects of the brain, living with FASD, caregiver self-care to symptoms and working with professionals.

The Government of Canada has many links to other supports in our country. Check them out here.

*For all of you caregivers out there, you will need some respite. That break that allows you to recharge your batteries.

Here is a list of Respite Services in Simcoe County.

Click here for the link of respite services located throughout Canada.

Our Ontario Government website explains how you can qualify and apply for respite services and who to call.

If you need anything else, send me an email at wellbalancedlife@rogers.com

Remember you aren’t alone!!

 

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Anxiety

I’ve had my fair share of helping my kids deal with anxiety. And this isn’t a small fear of the first day of school or performance at a music festival. This is constant worries and fears that get in the way of daily living. It’s real. And affects every single moment of the day sometimes.

Here are my “Top 3” resources that greatly helped our family:

AnxietyBC – This is a website is a small non-profit organization based out of Vancouver, BC that provides self-help resources on anxiety.  It has so so many tips, tricks and strategies that your child, teenager and even adults can benefit from! I cannot say enough good things about this website. It is FULL of fantastic information! The link will direct you to their youth section but if you hover your mouse over the “Self Help” section, you can then go to the parent, child, youth, adult and treatment page. Check every section out because it is amazing!!

Horses Are Magic – This is a farm out in Orr Lake, Ontario where you can go to work with Alla and her horses to help you with grief, anxiety, confidence, etc. Alla was wonderful with my children! She provides a very calm, safe and supportive environment. My children would journal, paint, talk and work with the horses. It is one thing to go to counselling and talk about your feelings and fears, yet your body can still stress physically. Even when your mind seems clear. Working with the horses while receiving counselling works both mind and body together. Check out her website for more information, but if your child is an animal lover (even if they aren’t), this is a great place to be!

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy – A guide for parents and their children written by Dawn Huebner. These books are AMAZING!! There are a few different topics but wow they are all fantastic!! A great visual for facing fears, dealing with OCD, worries, dealing with a bad temper, bad habits, afraid of going to bed, etc. Click on the link above and it will bring you to amazon.ca where you can read the description and reviews. These helped our family TREMENDOUSLY!

I hope these help you like they’ve helped us!! If you need anything else, send me an email at wellbalancedlife@rogers.com and I’ll see what I can do!

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Autism

Websites:

http://www.speakingofspeech.com – This website has many many free visuals! Click on Materials Exchange to access them. There are social stories, cooking recipes, life skills, data sheets, etc. etc.

http://www.autismprthelp.com/books-and-manuals.php – This link will bring you to the Koegel Institute Manuals. They are fantastic!! Pivotal Response Training is probably my favourite way to teach GG. It is all done in her natural environment. Check out the website to learn more. This is what we used to teach her language and I was amazed at how quickly it worked (especially after trying so many other techniques).

http://asperkids.com/– an Ah-mazing woman named Jennifer O’Toole (who was diagnosed with Aspergers, along with her hubby when all 3 of her children got their diagnosis) has put together a webpage, books, and fantastic information all on Asperger Awesomeness!! If you have a daughter with Autism/Aspergers you will love this site too!  It has great information on our girls’ unique characteristics!

http://www.autismontario.com/– This website is for residents of Ontario and from here, you can go directly to your county’s chapter. Here they have information on funding, camps, activities in your area, a list of professionals and ABA providers, etc. We have signed up for their newsletter and have become a member of AO. We receive emails with activities in our area that are either free or at a great price for GG and the family. She attends a Girls On The Spectrum Group (G.O.T.S group) once a month where she hangs out with other girls on the spectrum doing anything from crafts, movies, sewing, bead making, pizza/pj party, wildlife fitness, etc.  We have also attended a weekend camp with other families and it is definitely something to experience. Every single person there is understanding and supportive!

http://www.kerrysplace.org/Public/Supports-and-Services Kerry’s Place was our Saving Grace when GG first got diagnosed. We were new to autism and the symptoms she was showing through us for a loop. A consultant from Kerry’s Place would come to our hometown once a month. We would me with her, discuss our challenges and she would give immediate feedback and suggestions. I don’t know what we would have done without that support!

http://www.abaresources.com – Another free resource site! They have visuals already made for a token board, schedule and choice board, edible reinforcers, chore chart, first/then, visuals for restaurants, places to visit in Toronto, children’s books and much more!

https://www.stanleygreenspan.com/ – Check out the free video for parents. There is a lot of great info. in the free manual and parent course. Dr. Stanley Greenspan created the FLOORTIME METHOD in the 1980’s. I used this with GG and students I work with and it’s worked every time. You basically follow your child’s lead. If your child is spinning or flapping their hands, join in! If she is rocking while watching tv, sit close to her, rock and watch her show. With love and interest. This is how she will let you in.

http://www.zonesofregulation.com/index.html – This is an excellent resource for managing feelings! They have a book that comes with a disc to print out booklets that you and your child can fill out together. We use this at home and the schools use it often as well. Having home and school using the same language makes it much easier for our kids.

http://www.templegrandin.com/templehome.html – If you ever get a chance to hear Temple speak, I suggest you do! She is an inspiration. She has written many books and invented the squeeze machine. There is also a movie about her staring Claire Danes.

http://carlysvoice.com/home/faq/ – Carly Fleischmann is another inspiration! She is non-verbal and uses her computer to communicate. I find the best people to learn from are those who actually live with it!

Books:

Building Bridges Through Sensory Integration by Ellen Yack, Shirley Sutton and Paula Aquilla – This book is full of strategies for sensory issues! It has creative suggestions for muscle tone, hyper/hyposensitivity, eating issues, managing behaviours and so much more.

Relationship Development Intervention  by Steven Gutstein and Rachelle K Sheely – Relationship Development Intervention (RDI) is a technique used to teach relationships. Most interventions including this one suggest using their strategy only but we felt we would read books and go to workshops and take what we learned and what felt right and go with it. So we used Pivotal Response Training (PRT) for speech and toileting and more, RDI for building relationships and the Floortime method for teaching her play skills. The RDI is an intervention where you hire trained therapists and parents get trained as well. We bought the book and took ideas from it. Did it help her the way a full intervention would have? Probably not. But it did help. 

http://www.tasksgalore.com/  –  These books have GREAT ideas for all sorts of skills. Check out their website and go to ‘Products’ then hover over one of the titles and click on ‘Preview’.  You can purchase these books from Parent Books as well.
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Adoption Tips & Resources

Here are a few tips and resources:

When you first meet your baby/child give them some pictures and a blanket that smells like your family to take home with her. (We had visits first before she was permanently with us).

Keep his/her schedule the same for at least a year. For example, snack, bath, brush teeth, story & snuggles, bed. The same order every time! And only you and your husband/wife take care of all of her needs for that time. I know grandparents, aunts and uncles may want to help out, but this is the critical year for you to bond with her.

Make a Lifebook together! This photo book starts from the day he/she was born. Not when they first came to be a part of your family! Their story starts from birth. Check out this website & book written by Beth O’Malley.

Visit her foster family a few weeks after she’s settled in. That way she can see that it was a decision that everyone made together, and that the foster family is still alive and well.

If she is a little older but still drinking a bottle, let her have it a little while longer. You want to keep things as consistent as possible.

Be open about it. We tell GG all the time that she must have gotten her beautiful eyes from her birth mom or dad. Or we talk about her birth (the things we do know about it) and what it must have been like. We talk about how she is blessed with 3 moms – a birth mom, a foster mom and a forever mom. (And dad’s too). That’s a lot of people who love her. We write letters to her birth mom when she wants to. There are no secrets. (We do however keep any details she isn’t old enough to understand yet).We talk a lot about how blessed we are to have her in our lives.

Here are some good books to read:

The Connected Child 

Adopting the Hurt Child

Parenting the Hurt Child

Toddler Adoption

These are a few of the books that I still remember. It has been a while since I’ve read anything on Adoption and I’m sure there are many more that I’ve forgotten and have never read. A search in amazon will give you a lot of options to choose from but also check out Parent Books! They have every book on every topic of parenting. They are a store based out of Toronto but you can purchase their books online.

If you have any other questions or concerns, feel free to send me an email!

 

 

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