Honesty… it’s not just my story. It’s theirs too.

It’s been a very long time since I published anything on here! Almost a year! I’ve been struggling a bit with what to write for so long because I don’t want to write anything but the truth. The good, the bad and the ugly! I feel that writing about our life story is the best way to help others understand that we are all in this together. If I can’t be honest, then what is the point? Social media is affecting so many people in wonderful ways but can also be so unrealistic! When I was dealing with health issues and feeling like crap, I could not even look at Reese Witherspoon’s IG posts! Her perfect outfits and perfect hair in her clean house with her happy kids and well behaved dogs! You know what I’m talking about right?? My house seemed to be in complete disarray and I didn’t have the strength to even do my hair for work let alone cook a delicious healthy meal for the family AFTER work! Are you kidding me?!? Seeing her posts plus the many others (even from real life people I know) was too depressing! The guilt I would feel for not being like that! It’s crazy, I know! Don’t get me wrong, I love Reese and I’m sure she’s had her fill of struggles too. But the perfect persona shown on social media was just too much for me to handle at the time! I also see many moms on social media who post videos of their toddlers and lives, and I LOVE their honesty! That’s what keeps me coming back to read their blogs or watch their videos. The problem for me is that my kids are teenagers and have a more “shy” personality. Mine get embarrassed if I show people their baby pictures let alone post it for the world to see! I’ve wanted to post about many things over the past year. Where Gracie was and where she is at today. The struggles that all 3 of my teenagers have faced over their high school years. The problem is, it’s not just my story to tell. It belongs to them too. I’ve talked to Gracie about how telling her story can help others, especially since she’s come so far. She shouldn’t be embarrassed by the things she’s done in her past, the choices she’s made or the struggles she’s faced because that has made her who she is today. And to us, she’s pretty incredible! She has agreed to share some things now and I will post them (with her permission of course) as often as I can. But for now, what are some things you would like to know? What are your biggest challenges and how can we help? Shoot me an email or comment below and we will do our best! I just wanted to let you know that we’re back. Hopefully with some inspiring info. that can help you and your family live a well balanced life!! Or at least somewhat balanced!

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Fetal Alcohol Disorder

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is caused when a woman drinks alcohol during pregnancy. It is a spectrum of disorders.

Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD), Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS), Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE), Partial Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (pFAS), Alcohol Related Neurological Disorder (ARND), Static Encephalopathy Alcohol Exposed (SEAE), and Alcohol Related Birth Defects (ARBD).  To go over each one would make this a very long blog post so check out the resources below.

The FASlink Fetal Alcohol Disorders Society  is a busy looking site but has a lot of information if you would like to learn more.

My absolute favourite resource and the one workshop where I learned the most was from Jeff Noble. If you ever get a chance to hear him speak, make sure you do!! You will not be disappointed! You can check out his website here. He has a Facebook page called Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Forever w/ Jeff Noble. Jeff also has a couple of great books. They are the first things I would recommend you read. Check there out here!

If you are a birth mother, one thing to always remember is that you did not intentionally hurt your baby. Jeff Noble makes it very clear in the beginning of his workshops that no mother ever intentionally hurts their child. Don’t be afraid to seek help and speak to him. He is non-judgemental and very understanding.

G got a diagnosis of ARND. She will always need an external brain (support people) to help her throughout life. It’s not easy. She is so very aware of her surroundings and how a “typical” 14 year old behaves. What they are able to do and what she struggles with. It’s heartbreaking. But as she gets older we are coming to a common understanding of what she can do on her own and what she needs help with. She is appreciating the help more often than she used to. She doesn’t like it, but when she thinks of how life would be without our help, it frightens her.

Fetal Alcohol Syndromes are extremely hard. Hard for the child/adult diagnosed and hard for the family and those assisting them. There are success stories for those who have the support. Don’t give up and don’t be afraid to ask for help! You don’t have to do this on your own.

Here are a few other resources you can check out.

FASDCHILDWELFARE.CA

FASDCHILDWELFARE.CA  Caregiver Curriculum has 6 Modules from the effects of the brain, living with FASD, caregiver self-care to symptoms and working with professionals.

The Government of Canada has many links to other supports in our country. Check them out here.

*For all of you caregivers out there, you will need some respite. That break that allows you to recharge your batteries.

Here is a list of Respite Services in Simcoe County.

Click here for the link of respite services located throughout Canada.

Our Ontario Government website explains how you can qualify and apply for respite services and who to call.

If you need anything else, send me an email at wellbalancedlife@rogers.com

Remember you aren’t alone!!

 

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Well Balanced? Really?!?

 

Well this has been a week or two of not feeling balanced at all. In work, home and health. What does being well balanced mean anyway? To clear up the title “Well Balanced Life” I wanted to make sure you knew that in no way does it mean life is all rainbows and sunshine. It’s not a Leave It to Beaver or Truman Show household over here! I have 3 teenagers and balancing their needs with my own feels impossible sometimes. Between working full time, living with an autoimmune disorder, raising 3 teenagers (all with their own set of needs), finding time for housework, trying to figure out what helps me stay healthy and not relapse…the list goes on…it’s hard to stay balanced! We all have busy lives! But I came across a quote from Rachel Brathen – Yoga Girl that I just love. It was the inspiration for the name of my blog “Well Balanced Life”.  I hope it can resonate with you as well.

So don’t be too hard on yourself. Find your balance. Find what works for you and take the time to do it. I’m going to take some time to just breathe, do yoga and think about what I am thankful for this Thanksgiving weekend. That’s what helps me regain my balance in life. I’m also going to buy a Mint Chocolate Dark Chocolate bar as a treat! My heart wants it.

Happy Thanksgiving xo

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