Here are a few tips and resources:
When you first meet your baby/child give them some pictures and a blanket that smells like your family to take home with her. (We had visits first before she was permanently with us).
Keep his/her schedule the same for at least a year. For example, snack, bath, brush teeth, story & snuggles, bed. The same order every time! And only you and your husband/wife take care of all of her needs for that time. I know grandparents, aunts and uncles may want to help out, but this is the critical year for you to bond with her.
Make a Lifebook together! This photo book starts from the day he/she was born. Not when they first came to be a part of your family! Their story starts from birth. Check out this website & book written by Beth O’Malley.
Visit her foster family a few weeks after she’s settled in. That way she can see that it was a decision that everyone made together, and that the foster family is still alive and well.
If she is a little older but still drinking a bottle, let her have it a little while longer. You want to keep things as consistent as possible.
Be open about it. We tell GG all the time that she must have gotten her beautiful eyes from her birth mom or dad. Or we talk about her birth (the things we do know about it) and what it must have been like. We talk about how she is blessed with 3 moms – a birth mom, a foster mom and a forever mom. (And dad’s too). That’s a lot of people who love her. We write letters to her birth mom when she wants to. There are no secrets. (We do however keep any details she isn’t old enough to understand yet).We talk a lot about how blessed we are to have her in our lives.
Here are some good books to read:
These are a few of the books that I still remember. It has been a while since I’ve read anything on Adoption and I’m sure there are many more that I’ve forgotten and have never read. A search in amazon will give you a lot of options to choose from but also check out Parent Books! They have every book on every topic of parenting. They are a store based out of Toronto but you can purchase their books online.
If you have any other questions or concerns, feel free to send me an email!