Keep Being You!

Gracie & Bluey

I was thinking today about Gracie’s different developmental stages she seems to have. At times she can seem as young as four, sometimes she’s a total teenager or trying her best to be like one, and at other times, she’s so insightful you’d think there’s an older, wiser woman speaking. This can make things difficult for others to understand her struggles. Especially when it comes to teaching, either at school or training at work. Masking, often common among autistic girls/women, is another symptom that can prevent others from knowing their autistic peers’ true selves/abilities. Gracie can have a very mature conversation with someone, describe a situation or answer a question at school but not fully understand what she is saying. Even when it’s in the proper context of a conversation. Her expressive skills are much higher than her receptive skills. In some ways this has helped her to fit in or get the job. But at other times, when her younger self appears, this can cause looks, misunderstandings (including at home, which will turn to mom, yep that’s me, getting frustrated), or contribute to Gracie’s own self-doubt. Luckily she loves herself and self-doubt creeps up very minimally, but on the way to meet Bluey today, she was a bit embarrassed because she’s 19 and going to the “little kids zone” at Wonderland. I reminded her how awesome she was and how many of us wish we still had that magic of our young selves still living inside us. “You be you” because “you are incredible”. She only needs to hear that once and she’s right back to her young self. Jumping up and down screaming about how excited she is to see Bluey, and telling everyone around her. There were a couple of kids who looked with curiosity, but no rudeness. Parents were smiling and engaged with her infectious excitement. And this made me wonder if times had changed. If people were becoming more accepting. Or, is it that she is older now and it’s more obvious. The “disability” isn’t as invisible anymore. I’d like to believe it’s the former.

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